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Sometimes I wonder if I'll ever be truly happy. I used to think happiness was just a state of mind, but it's really so much more than just that. I can tell myself that I should be happy and contented with everything I have cause it's so much more than what a lot of people will ever get in their lifetime, but deep down there's still something missing.

I feel so tired lately. I'm tired of chasing after things that I'll never get, I'm tired of looking at the world through rose tinted glasses, and I'm tired being a hopeless romantic. I'm tired of believing that things will work out eventually and be proven wrong every time. I'm tired of believing in the good of people and having them show me that I was wrong to think that way. I'm tired of having the things that mean the most to me, being taken away from me. And I'm tired of being hopeful.

All those things aside, I'm tired of being myself as well. I hate how I'm becoming the person I said I'd never be; the person I used to see in others and detest.

Somedays I feel as though I shouldn't be complaining, cause I really don't deserve anything. It feels as though I'll never be good enough for anyone. You know, it really sucks to think of all the times you gave your all, yet still lost the battle eventually. Maybe my all was never enough. 

Maybe I'm just not enough.