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Lately I've just been having this thought..about how restraining and scary it actually is to get too attached to someone. Having your world revolve around someone, making them your priority, putting their happiness above your own.

And you actually not minding it, because you think it's worth it. The things you'd actually do for them..like waking up at the break of dawn, or staying up till the wee hours of the morning. Or maybe even travelling all the way across Singapore just to see them for an hour or so and have dinner despite how tired you are. Or just to sit beside them and watch them play some game. Or willingly wait for hours just to be able to see them. Or even just sitting infront of your computer for hours, pressing the same few keys over and over again just to help them out in a game even when you have more important things to do, like studying for a major exam.

I've done all of these things before and probably a lot more that I can't remember. And I really feel stupid just thinking about it.

My friends are always constantly amused by the things I do. They ask me why I bother putting in so much effort and honestly, I really don't know. And now, I realise how pointless it all is. There's this thing about putting in so much effort - everyone around you can see how much you've done, except the person you're doing it for.

And yea, I might say this now, but when the time comes I know I'll just go back to doing all these stupid things again.

I guess that's why the thought of growing too attached to someone scares me now. And I guess I'm just tired. I don't want my life to revolve around someone. It takes you away from the people that have been there for you all along and makes you fixated on someone who probably just entered your life recently and might probably leave just as soon.

Urghh, okae I actually don't really know what I'm babbling on about here. It's late, I'm sleepy and I'm just typing out the things that are swirling around in my head so that I can clear it all out and go to sleep. I've been suffering from insomnia lately. Just so many thoughts in my head that I keep thinking and thinking about, which makes me unable to fall asleep.

Pardon my lack of flow or lack of sense if I don't happen to make any. Okae bye.