Dreams.

I know I shouldn't be blogging this, but somehow I still am.

I had a dream yesterday. I dreamt of you. It's been ages since you last appeared in my dreams. But even when you do, you're always slipping away. Even in my dreams it's always a one way track. And somehow to me, going forward seems like the only option, even though I know that there's nothing at the other end.

There's always this fear. That you'd just disappear all of a sudden. There was always no notice, no sign. I knew it was just a matter of time. It was just a matter of time before you disappeared for good. One day, just like any other day, the texts just stop coming.

At the start I'd fool myself into thinking that maybe, just maybe he woke up late. Or maybe, just maybe he was busy today. But many of such days passed and eventually I had to face the fact that you had chosen to leave again. However that didn't mean that I had given up. I did try reaching out to you, but silence was the only reply I got.

If only you knew how much courage it took me to send those texts. That overwhelming feeling of insignificance, knowing that you weren't even worthy of a reply. Or a goodbye for that matter.

But it's okay, all this doesn't matter anymore. It's been years. Funny that I even dreamt of this, that I even dreamt of you.

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