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For the longest time, I always believed it was a forced choice. An "either"/"or" circumstance. One or the other.

I craved for the excitement that one would get on a roller coaster ride, the rush and thrill of not knowing what could happen. Like walking into the dark - afraid, yet you still kept walking forward cause although you felt fear, you couldn't hold back your curiosity either.

Like fireworks in the night sky, exploding just above your head. So far up and yet somehow it still felt so near. Something about it just ignites that excitement in you, making you feel like a little girl all over again. Looking up at the beautiful display in awe, wishing you could capture it but yet knowing you never could, cause it was just so fleeting. Just like how the greatest of things were - intangible.

But yet on the other hand I wanted something that was concrete. Something I could reach out my hands and touch. Something I could point to and say "that's it" and know that it was attainable, that it was within my reach.

Like snowflakes that fell from the winter skies. Constant, calm and predictable. I could just stick out my arm and one by one it would just fall into the palms of my hand as though nature made it that way. As though it was meant to be, made as though each snowflake was specially shaped that way and made that size just so we could catch it and admire it for that much longer.

Both snow and fireworks were beautiful in their own way, yet different in so many others. I wanted the excitement and yet I wanted concreteness and predictability. But how could all these co-exist?

I had almost believed it wasn't possible. But then, I was proven wrong.

I guess anything in life is possible. You just gotta keep believing and having faith.