:(

I think I've officially lost my studying vibe.

Up until a few weeks back and also for the previous semester, I've been diligently starting on my assignments wayyy before they were due. I even studied my lecture notes during the first week of school when there weren't even any upcoming tests then!

But now I just feel like the most nua person on earth ._.

Just took a look at my latest assignment which was a 2.5k word report that is due in 21 days time and I'm just like......ok I'll start on it tomorrow.

But I don't know if "tomorrow" will ever come. Sigh, I don't know what's wrong with me. This is also really quite ironic cause just during class this week where we were role playing a therapist and client scenario, I was just "counselling" Dawn on this exact same issue.

I hate myself. I honestly do feel stressed, but I just can't bring myself to do anything about it.

Anyways, just now while I was browsing through Facebook I came across this advert for this website/app called Fiverr www.fiverr.com  It's basically a website filled with ppl offering various services from just $5.

And one of such services is having your research paper/report researched upon and written for you. CAN YOU BELIEVE IT?! I've checked the price range and I guess a 2.5k word report would cost approximately $40.

I want so bad to just say TAKE MY MONEY AND DO MY REPORT FOR ME PLS.

But...I can't cause I do actually take pride in submitting my own work ._____. BUT YET I'M LAZY. Contradictory much.

Sigh. Sometimes I ask myself what my issue is and I honestly have no answer to that question. Some people hate writing essays because they suck at it and I guess that's pretty understandable. I know I should count myself lucky that most of the essays I've done turned out pretty decent, but still I find myself not feeling motivated.

AND I DON'T KNOW WHY.

...

Okay actually I do have a sight idea as to why I might be lacking motivation to do anything lately.

It's probably cause I have too much free time on hand and I know it. Last sem when I was still attached, I was so motivated to complete all my assignments ASAP cause I didn't want to spend my weekends mugging at home. But now that I don't have a boyfriend anymore, I suddenly find myself with all the time in the world.

...All the time in the world to procrastinate.

Also, another reason why I'd choose to occupy myself with assignments would be to keep myself busy and to stop myself from moping around and making my own life miserable. Butttttt, now that I don't really have anything in my life that's bringing me down (except for assignments), I don't see a need for that either =/

Sigh, I'm so sick and tired of studying already. I CAN'T WAIT TO GRADUATE NEXT YEAR. NO MORE ASSIGNMENTS, NO MORE REPORTS, NO MORE ESSAYSSSSS.

But for now.......lemme just enjoy the last few hours of this night before I go to sleep and wake up to my 2.5k words report tomorrow. ):

I.will.stop.procrastinating.