Life (?)

Life has been so mundane lately. Just the usual school work, job search, etc.

Sometimes I wonder if I'll ever be contented with life, cause it always seems like I'll want more. But the odd thing is, I don't really know what's lacking either. Something just doesn't feel right and I don't know what it is.

Or maybe what's wrong is that nothing's wrong. Maybe I'm just so used to finding a problem with anything and everything that I'm just not used to this. My greatest worry right now is that...I need a job??

Even that's not a really huge worry cause I'm not exactly broke. I just can't splurge as much as I'd like to. And I could live with that..as opposed to finding a job that I'll dread going to work for (i.e. promoting/f&b/any job that requires more than 5 hours of working time and lots of boredom)

I don't know if this sounds odd, but I kinda miss having something to think about. Something to hope for, like a miracle or a surprise outcome. I miss living for the extraordinary, for not knowing what's to come next.

I miss having a reason to think about life. Now that I don't, life to me is just the normal mundane stuff. Like school, work, money. And to me, that's bordering on a meaningless existence.

But then again, I know that if I have more to think about I'll just get so mentally worn out, I'd wish life was simpler (i.e. how it is now).

Sigh. So this is how life's supposed to be, I guess?