#achievementunlocked

I should be busy studying for my exams tomorrow, but today marks a milestone in my life and so it deserves to be blogged out and remembered for eternity hahaha.

Sometimes I think I'm a very contradictory person. I love the feeling of being in a committed relationship and I really wouldn't mind being tied down to my partner for life, if its someone I truly love. However when it comes to finding a job........I have MAJOR commitment issues.

Random fact about me #1:

I've never had a full time job before nor one that requires me to sign a contract

Random fact about me #2:

I like jobs that have a flexible schedule (i.e. I get to plan and decide when I'd like to work/not work)

Soooooooooo. Today marks a milestone cause I signed my first ever contract job. Words cannot describe how I felt before and after signing the contract hahaha. It's bad enough that I have to go to work every day for 5 days a week, but what makes it worse is that I can't terminate my contract if not I'll have to pay approx $1000 in compensation.

I swear throughout the whole journey I was seriously contemplating the idea of just going back home and telling them I didn't want the job anymore lol! And even when I was sitting at the office and while she was reading out the terms of the contract to me, I was still cooking up various excuses and desperately looking for a loop hole so I could not sign the contract!! Even after I signed the contract I was still thinking of ways I could get the paper back and tear it up hahaha.

You have no idea how I felt T______T I have never felt so trapped in my life. I know I have a choice not to work, cause I don't even need this job, but at the same time I know I shouldn't pass up this opportunity cause it would help build up my resume. Especially since it's a HR job. Sighhhhh.

If it weren't for the sake of my resume I definitely wouldn't be doing this!! Not even if it paid me $20/h or sth lol. I need a greater motivating force than money =/

But anws, I'm so proud of myself too! Cause I finally overcame my commitment issues hehehe ^^v

..okae kinda. Now I just need to stop thinking of ways to get them to terminate my contract instead if I don't want to work hahaha.

And my experience today also gave me a greater insight into something that happened quite awhile back. Guess it kinda sucks when you have commitment issues and someone starts giving you a whole list of things you can/cannot do during that period of commitment. Would have taken flight too if I could.