Passion or practicality? Somehow it feels like I've still settled for second best.

I chose to study psychology despite people often telling me how limited the job scope is and how hard it'd be to find a job, cause I thought it was what I was interested in and that there wouldn't be a point in studying something else. It didn't matter if there were other degree courses that were more practical, cause what good would it do if I didn't even have any passion for it?

But sometimes I really wonder if I made the right decision.

What exactly is a passion? I believe to consider your job your passion, you would firstly have to be doing it not just for yourself. It had to be something greater, something that pushes you to work hard for. Like how a artist paints beautiful works of art because he wants his audience to see the world through his eyes. Or how a nurse is so dedicated to her job because she wants to help nurse the sick back to health.

Basically, you don't work for your own personal gains, but because you believe that you doing your job would bring happiness and joy to others as well.

I mean, don't get me wrong. I'm sure if I were to be a psychologist in the future, I'd definitely be able to help others and it's definitely meaningful. And I do want to be able to help relieve these people from whatever they're facing, by lightening their stress in whatever way I can. But somehow a part of me knows that this isn't what I'm truly passionate about.

Honestly speaking, the reason why I was interested in psychology in the first place was because I was so intrigued by the human mind. I couldn't understand why different people behaved the way they do and how some people could act in ways completely beyond our comprehension. I guess you could say the main reason why I took psychology was for myself and not because I want to help others. But of cause this does not mean that wanting to help others isn't one of my reasons, just that it isn't the main reason why.

I guess psychology is more of an interest as compared to a passion. And it just doesn't feel very meaningful if the main reason you're doing something is for yourself and not for others.

Sigh, sometimes I regret not studying hard enough. Although I don't even know if I'd be able to score straight As for my A levels if I had tried hard enough, but if I had tried my best, at least I'll know. Guess now I'll never know.

Scratch that. Nothing is impossible, it's just a matter of how much effort you put into it. Sigh pie. Oh well, maybe sometime in the future, be it near or far, I'd be able to pursue what I really want.