Thoughts.

Woke up this morning to a familiar and nostalgic song playing in my head. A song about graduation and moving on to a new phase in life, a song that I remember singing during our primary 6 performance ceremony.

As we go on, we remember, all the time we had together. And as our lives change, come whatever, we will still be friends forever.

Somehow this song just brings back so much memories. It's hard to look back and think how much things have changed since then and now. 9 years ago, that's a really long time. It's just slightly less than half my age.

A part of me wishes that I could go back and relive each and every moment. Maybe even change some.

No, I'd definitely change some. Although during certain times in my life, I've looked back and told myself without a doubt that I wouldn't change anything, but right now I really beg to differ. If you were to ask the 12 year old me, how I'd see myself in 9 years time, I don't think this where I'd see myself.

And furthermore to a primary 6 kid, being at the age where you're studying in a university seemed so much more. It was like this grand prospect. Whenever I met cousins who were already studying in university, I'd think to myself "wow, they're quite old". But now that I myself am in uni, I don't really feel much different from who I was as a 12 year old kid.

Of cause I've seen so much more, grown so much more and know so much more, but oddly enough..I can't really pin point a certain changing point in my life or the exact moment that things began to change. Growing up in life is all about a gradual change, and I suppose this is what makes it so hard to feel the difference.

Don't get me wrong..I do see the difference, but I just don't feel it.

I don't know..at this point it really feels like I've gone wrong somewhere along the way. Or maybe I haven't and it's just that I've not yet reached where I'm ultimately supposed to be at. Like what they say, in the end things will be okay; if it's not okay, it's not the end.

Then again, would I be satisfied with just "okay"?

I want something great, something extraordinary. Something that would make everything worthwhile; all the ups, the downs, the screw ups, the regrets. And that, is what I would love to achieve eventually.

I don't want to have to be satisfied with something that's just "okay".