The love we deserve

"We accept the love we think we deserve."

People used to tell me, "Why are you doing this to yourself? He is not worth it, you deserve more than that." To which I'd either think that "he is worth it" or that "yes, he isn't worth it, he doesn't deserve me, but I deserve him".

But right now, I really wonder..what do I actually deserve? I feel so undeserving of everything I have right now. Things have changed, I'm no longer the person I was back then. And somethings can never be erased or taken back.

Sometimes I think that there's nothing wrong with the things that I have done, but I'm pretty sure most people don't think that way. And I don't blame them. Different people have different values and beliefs. And I might find all ways and means to justify my actions..but at the end of the day, I know that's not entirely the case.

And honestly, I can't even blame it on me being "foolish and childish". Foolish and childish is what we were in primary school or secondary school. Yet ironically, someone once told me that I've changed since then..into someone they were disappointed with, someone that they didn't know anymore.

People always tell us, find someone who accepts you for who you are, regardless of the things you do or have done. But the thing is, if such a person actually exist..if there was a person with a heart big enough to accept you at your worst and accept you for all your flaws...

Would you actually be deserving of them?

Guess not.